


Dressing Up

by randomwriter57



Series: Reigisa Week 2015 [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: Gender Confusion, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Reigisa Week, gendered clothing, i am so happy it is reigisa week once more
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 02:23:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3191723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomwriter57/pseuds/randomwriter57
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nagisa had been acting odd recently.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dressing Up

**Author's Note:**

> Written for day 1 of Reigisa Week #2. Prompt = gender.
> 
> Happy second Reigisa Week!  
> For this prompt, I interpreted it a bit differently, so while it's not genderbend, it does have to do with gender identity and confusion, I believe.  
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this, and here's to an awesome week!

Nagisa had been acting odd recently.

Rei was pretty sure he wasn't the only one who had noticed - surely the absence of boisterous conversation from the blond was a dead give-away - but when he asked his friends, all he received were blank looks.

"Are you sure, Rei?" Makoto had said when he asked him. "He seems fine to me."

But that was the problem - that he seemed fine. Now Rei was no expert on human emotion, but generally speaking, when someone as chatty and animated as Nagisa suddenly became quieter, something had to be going on, right? Rei had his hypothesis down, so now all he needed to do was to conduct the research and find the results.

Except this wasn't an experiment, because Nagisa was his friend. All he was going to do was ask. Simple enough, right?

Maybe not.

Rei asked Nagisa a few times if he was okay - on the train, at lunch, even as they were showering after practice - but every time, Nagisa put on his cheeriest smile (which was obviously fake - Nagisa's eyes would squint when he smiled for real, and he would get a dimple at the side of his right cheek, neither of which showed up when he gave a fake smile) and answered, "Of course I'm okay, Rei-chan, why?"

(Which of course meant that every time Rei had to give him the same answer, "Oh nothing, it must have just been me." Which had to get suspicious after a while, surely, although Rei hoped Nagisa didn't think he was up to something. He was just worried.)

Of course, his behaviour must have aroused suspicion. He didn't even realise he was staring at Nagisa until Nagisa spoke up.

"Is everything alright, Rei-chan?" Nagisa asked, frowning.

"A-ah, yes, everything is fine," Rei sputtered, trying to wipe the look of concern from his face. "Why are you asking?"

"Oh, you just looked upset or something." Nagisa looked down into his lap. "Come to think of it, you've been acting weird all day. Are you sure everything is alright?"

Crap. Rei gave Nagisa a smile, trying to reassure him. "Of course, don't worry. It's just..." Should he? Well, he wouldn't get anywhere if he didn't. "...you've been a little quiet today."

"Oh, really?" Nagisa gave a weak chuckle, scratching the back of his head. "I hadn't noticed."

"I just wondered if you were alright," Rei said, his voice growing quiet.

"It's nothing." Nagisa gave him a small smile - not a fake one, but also not a happy one. "I've just had a lot on my mind, is all."

Rei nodded, deciding not to push his friend any further. "Okay. If you ever need to talk to me about anything, I'm all ears."

"Thanks, Rei-chan."

The rest of their journey together was quiet. Rei wondered what Nagisa could be thinking about - although it was strictly none of his business, and Nagisa would surely tell him if he wanted him to know. Everything would be fine.

Or at least, he hoped so.

 

* * *

 

 

A few days passed after that where their conversation was not brought up. Rei almost thought Nagisa had forgotten completely about it, but then again, the boy seemed to be making a concentrated effort to appear as normal - his cheery tone of voice was strained, and most smiles he gave were false. Even Makoto and Haruka were beginning to notice that something was definitely wrong with Nagisa.

"He would tell us if something was wrong, right?" Makoto said.

Rei hummed. He had hoped that would be the case, especially after the running-away incident, but apparently not. "I thought he would, but now I'm not sure."

"Should we talk to him?"

Haruka spoke first this time. "No. He'll tell us when he feels like it's time."

"But from the sounds of it, it seems like he's been like this for a while now," Makoto said. "Maybe if we just-"

"I'll go to his house and ask," Rei said, interrupting Makoto's suggestion. "I live nearby anyway, and I can go under the guise of giving him some revision notes or helping him to study."

"That feels like an infiltration of privacy," Makoto whined.

"If we don't ask, we don't know that he'll ever ask us for help," Rei pointed out. "I'll text you when I've talked to him about it."

Haruka looked back to the locker room, where Nagisa was currently getting changed (they had hung back after practice to have this conversation) and sighed. "Fine."

Makoto still looked uneasy, but nodded also.

Rei affirmed his mission to himself - tonight he would ask Nagisa about whatever he was thinking about, and hopefully this problem would be solved.

 

* * *

 

 

Nagisa's older sister (the youngest of the three sisters) was the one to open the door when Rei knocked on it later that evening.

Rei had met Nagisa's family before, but his sisters still unnerved him, especially after the lecture they had given him about not hurting Nagisa, as though they were a new couple or something.

"Ryugazaki?" she said almost accusingly. "What do you want?"

"I'm here to see Nagisa-kun," he said, although that much was obvious. "He missed a few of the notes in class today, so I thought I'd bring them to him."

She nodded, moving away from the door to let him in. "He's in his room. Don't be too loud." She then walked away, leaving a confused Rei by the door.

(What did she even mean by that, anyway? It was almost as though she knew he wasn't just there to give him notes.)

He left his shoes at the genkan and entered the house, padding up the stairs, taking the well-memorised path to Nagisa's room - the last one on the first floor, to the left of the stairs. He stood on the landing outside the door (which was decorated in various stickers, as ever) and raised a fist, hesitating. It was too late to turn back now. All he could do was push forward and ask. Otherwise, he'd never find out what was wrong.

He knocked on the door.

There was no reply.

After about twenty seconds of silence, Rei knocked again. "Nagisa-kun? Are you in there?"

He couldn't hear anything from inside - perhaps he had fallen asleep? He was about to leave, resigned with the fact that Nagisa wouldn't answer the door, but then he heard a thump.

What...?

Rei turned the handle and let himself into the room, wondering what on earth was happening in there. "Nagisa-kun, are you al-"

On the floor directly in front of him was Nagisa, down on all fours (getting up from where he had fallen down), his head turned to face Rei with an expression of shock and embarrassment - Rei was pretty sure he hadn't seen Nagisa so red in all the time he had known him. What shocked Rei though - what made his face just as red and sent his mouth gawping so far it practically reached his knees - was what Nagisa was wearing.

Now please bear in mind that Rei had caught Nagisa in a particularly bad moment, as apart from his head, it was mostly Nagisa's back which faced Rei, and so the view in front of him was not one he'd ever thought he would see. Ever.

Nagisa was wearing a dress.

The dress was white with floral patterns - not a bad choice at all, except for the length of it. It had to be a pretty short dress, considering the sight before Rei's eyes right now.

There was a moment in which both of them remained frozen, faces red and eyes wide.

Then, there was chaos. Nagisa shot onto his feet, pulling the hem of his dress down whilst avoiding Rei's eyes. Rei ducked back out of the room, leaving the door open but leaning back against the wall beside it, staring at the ceiling and willing the blood in his cheeks to go back to its normal circulation. His heart was pounding, although the only reason he could possibly see for that was the shock of seeing Nagisa in a dress (which he certainly hadn't expected to see). His brain wouldn't work properly, couldn't formulate a possible answer as to why Nagisa had worn such a thing, or why his heart was pounding so hard he could hear the blood in his ears. All he could think of was the fact that inside that room, Nagisa was standing, embarrassed beyond belief, wearing a dress, and Rei wanted to know why.

Once his breathing had gone back to normal, he turned slowly and poked his head back through the door, scanning the room for his friend. It didn't take long to find him, although he didn't think the blond had noticed him yet. Nagisa sat on his bed, head in his hands, still wearing the dress, unaware that Rei could see him.

Rei could feel his heart breaking. His reaction, or even just his _presence_  had caused Nagisa so much embarrassment, so much shock, that now he was surely overwhelmed by everything going on. Rei couldn't bear to see him like this. He needed to take that look off his face, to bring back the squinted eyes and the dimple, to bring back his real smile.

He walked back into the room. "Nagisa-kun...?"

Nagisa raised his head slowly, his hair dishevelled from where he had run his hands through it. He didn't say anything - he didn't need to. His face said everything.

Rei didn't speak either. He walked over to his friend, knelt down in front of him (keeping his eyes on Nagisa's the entire time, of course). "If you need to talk about anything, I'm all ears," Rei reminded him in a gentle tone.

Nagisa didn't answer for a few seconds, giving Rei enough time to wonder if he had just upset him even more before the blond barrelled into him, throwing his arms around him and almost knocking him to the floor. Nagisa's body shuddered with sobs, tears falling thick and fast into Rei's shirt (not that he cared - Nagisa's happiness was more important than the state of his clothes, and it was only a bit of water anyway).

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Nagisa crying into Rei and Rei patting his back, making calming noises (or at least he hoped they were calming - it was what his mother had always done for him when he cried). After a while - one minute or ten, Rei didn't know - they separated, kneeling in front of each other by the bed. Nagisa wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. It took another minute or so for either of them to speak.

"I like wearing girls' clothes," Nagisa said. "I know it probably seems weird, but it's true."

That cleared up why Nagisa had been wearing the dress, then. Rei did not speak, waiting for Nagisa to go on.

"I think it started back when my sisters kept dressing me up in girls' clothes when I was younger. It was really annoying and I hated that they bullied me like that. But then my eldest sister went to university, and they stopped bullying me.

"It was alright, for a while, but lately I've been seeing all of these really nice dresses and skirts in magazines and wondering what _I'd_  look like wearing them. At first I told myself I was wrong and got on with things, but lately I've just kept wondering."

So that's what Nagisa had been thinking about all week, then.

"I took this dress from my sister's room earlier - it's too small for her, I don't think she ever wears it - and tried it on, just to see if I liked it." Nagisa's hands made fists around the hem of the skirt. "And I did."

Rei could see it now - Nagisa looking in the mirror on the opposite wall, staring at the skirt with a conflicted expression. He would give a twirl, testing the dress' fluidity, then finding he liked it, would twirl again. He would smile at himself, happy with his image, happy with the way the dress clung to his figure, how it accented his legs (which were really nice, for a guy). He would freeze upon hearing someone knock at his door, not knowing who it was - could his sister have realised her dress had gone missing? Surely she would bully him forever upon finding him wearing her clothes. His eyes would widen upon hearing Rei's voice, and he would try to escape to his wardrobe, only to trip and fall (there was so much stuff strewn around his floor, it would be hard not to trip on any of it). And just as he tried to pick himself up, the door would open.

"I don't know what it means, to like wearing girls' clothes," Nagisa continued, bringing Rei out of his thoughts. "People throw around terms like 'transgender' and stuff, but I don't feel any more girlish than I did when I just liked wearing boys' clothes. Or maybe I do. I don't know." He sighed. "Gender is complicated."

Rei reached over and took one of Nagisa's hands, keeping his eyes on him at all times. "Nagisa-kun, don't feel like you need to give yourself a label. If you like wearing girls' clothes, that's fine. Gender is complicated, so don't rush any decisions you feel you have to make."

Nagisa looked up, eyes wide but filled with light. "Rei-chan...thank you." He leaned forward and hugged Rei again, this time with just one arm - the other continued to be linked with Rei's. Rei wouldn't usually feel comfortable with so much physical contact in one day, but Nagisa needed this. He hugged Nagisa back, smiling.

"It's alright, Nagisa-kun. Everything is alright."

And this time, maybe it really would be.


End file.
